The Part Before Part 2
The wind blowing through his 4 strands of hair felt good on ol’ Brucey, He hadn’t felt a breeze this cool for years. Not since Crystal (Bruce’s wife’s name according to at least one website!) had forced him to sell his convertible. Ahh, Crystal, how long had it been since he’s seen her. He’d been so all consumed with his stopping his evil brother by digging his way across the country he’d let her become bait, meanwhile, you KNOW she was doing all sorts of nasty stuff with moose. What if he had convinced her to give him a blumpkin? How could he kiss those poo-poo lips ever again?
He should have flown, flying would have been faster.
He was flying.
“Relax there partner, you still might be hallucinating, you lost a lot of blood.” Realizing the sack of fat in his arms was waking up Robo-Wideman warned his favorite coach. “You’re alright pal. Just dont flop around and such, or I might drop you.”
“Wha-where am I” said Bruce. “I am Bruce” he then said, in an effort to beat a dead horse.
“When they gave me my robo jet leg they added an antenna, it gets fm, am, and satanic chants”
“well that explains that” said Bruce B, the owner of this here blog, “the last thing I remember is Getzl-”
“they’re dead.” Robo-Wides looked sad.
“all of them?”
“9 ducks players, temeus children, and this dog that wandered in and saw me doing the deed. No witnesses.”
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| "I AM THE SUN GOD. BLASPHIME AGAIN AND ITS MELANOMA FOR YOU" |
“My god. I hadn't realized shit just got super-serious. oh, hello there, how are you?” said Bruce
“Yes, the stakes have never been higher, I...I don’t ever want to talk about it again, it was real horrible-like, yet would have made an incredible blog entry. I think I will be scarred for life, Post-traumatic mental issues are quite dangerous."
“Yes, yes, Asamov, we cant wait for your spin off blog as an emotionally crippled inspector gadget. But shut up, I was talking to the sun king.”
The robo-leg went FWWSHHHHHHHHHHHH and they flew out of frame.
BLEERGGGHHHHHHHHHHUHH
BLELLEGHHGHSHHHSSHWWWUUHGHHGHHGHGHGHG
KERPOWSHhhhhhhahhsh
“We need to get a better driver” said Hendi #3, exiting the dj king super string theory machine, “Holy Gunnar!”
“Holy Lennon, said number 1” said Hendi #2, who was showing off the fact that he was a clone and knew what #1 was gonna say before he said it.
“Holy Len-” #1 stopped himself when he realized number 2 beat him to his own words. Normally such a thing would upset a person, but the whole pre-cog thing made DJ king fall over laughing, he would remain on the floor of the Mark 2 for hours now, allowing the clones and OMFCarlson to explore uninterrupted.
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| Incest was a big problem at Hendi High. |
“You weren’t kidding” says OMFGarlson, exiting the ship, stepping into a pool of blood, shin-pad high, inside Teemu Slan-mans house. “I think we’re too late”.
“No, look around said number three” said number 2.
“No, look ar--fuck you” said number 3. “But he’s...I’m right, theres a lot of dead ducks, theres a chance he got out of here!”
Number 1 dipped a strip of paper into the blood, “I’m right! the fat content in this blood is less than 45%. Theres still a chance to save Brucey before Moosey gets a hold of him!”
“You know, I told you guys we should have checked earth first, the mark 2 is very convenient, but why would he be in a different galaxy, we just should have flown to Anaheim, flying would have been way faster”
“We’ve lost him again. There’s no way he’d risk giving another person a negative boner.” said Fighting-Fit Carlson. All three clones broke out in tears. Carlson heald his in, just sniffling like the brute he was. “Wait” he said “I’ve got an idea”
“We’re here” Said the robot computer living in Dennis Widemans tongue. He landed slowly and softly, the 30 foot flame coming out of his leg setting only a few houses and a small park on fire.
“Where is here?” said dum-dum
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| Dennis, Always thinking ahead, brought Camo for the raid. |
“here.” Wides pointed to a window of a large mansion. Inside, were some very nice drapes, possibly velvet or something, defiantly black out curtains for sure, further inside, there was no bed, meaning the blackout windows weren't even in a bedroom! Could this be a tv room with blackouts just to combat glare!? How luxurious Brouce thout. Of course, so is not having to wipe your ass with a mole, they are not soft. His inner monologue went on about the luxurious he missed and his very slow eyes moved further in the room.
“Oh Sun God!” exclaimed Bruce. Below one of those upside down stars that people think are satanic, Crystal was chained up to a wall.
And Bruce could totally tell she had given moose a blumpkin.
Next: Moose reveals it was a Crumpkin
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