Dale Cunter.

Even though I’m a thousand feet below ice level at Verizon, I can make up some hot nicknames. Sure makes for some bad wifi reception though.

I assure you dear readers, I’m not as green with jealous rage as one might think. I’m still gonna pull for our Caps until I’m dead in the grave. And let me tell ya, not even this heartbreaks gonna put Brucie six feet under. This early retirements gonna let me kick back with my bigbootieblogbikini babes, a mai tai and relax in my underground ice castle with prince DJ King. And I promise not to levy a curse of the bruce goose on ya guysss

Tonight on the 3D TV DJ and I are gonna catch the caps and the st louee blewmes battle it out above our heads. DJ says that da blues are cartin Halak out there fellers older than this cave I’m sleepin in. maybe the memory of 2009 will get em to play all 60 mins for once. Fuckin halak. Helping me lose my job. Grumblegrumblegrumble.

Think of me tonight boys, win this one for the memory of bruciebaby.

BRUCEGOOSE

ps hope you found the present I left in your prius, mcphee. Don't worry about getting me back for it, this doodys free.

WHAT WHAT WHAT?

IM FINE. IM FINEE!

STILL LIVIN IN VERIZON STILL SWIZZLIN DJ KING DRINKS STILL BLOWIN SMOKE RINGS ON BACKIES EYEBALLS.

WHAT WHAT



WWHAHT"

WHATTNWI
aw
asas

sasa
ssa



sad

Revenge: Nov 23, 2011

Revenge (n)

1) a dish thats you have to cook hot, but tastes much better after its been left out for days and is lukewarm at best.
2) my new screenplay for michael fassbender
3) when you beat the Jets so bad they run out to home depot after the game, pick up 20 c-clamps to smash in they nuts to ease the pain.

Whinnypeg. How my heart longs to destroy the fuck out of you. Nono, I understand the team, heck, they play hockey, they're just doing their thing. But the city, the piece of shit city. Its no wonder the hockey gods abandoned ye. And look at your team, just give them an honest look. Its not too long until they leave you again, and its back to husking corn. ...and here I thought it was Montreal that gave canada a bad name.

fucking winnipeg.

Jets! Thank you for your timely payment. We no longer have to worry about the rest of Ovis contract after your generous offer to let your fans see you beat the capitals. But that cash is in hand, I'd like to invite you into my phone booth for just one second. Show you how a real team plays.

As for my boys, I think I've finally figured out how to motivate them. i removed all the TP before the yotes game. It appeared to work, I think they thought as a reward I'd give it back to them, but when you're on a roll (HA!) you dont change up your system.

Caps will continue to win, and continue to have crusty butts.

oops

600 games!

SORRY CHIM!

Desert Dogs for Desert: Nov 21, 2011

You really have two options with tonights game. You can leave it, Orlov it.  I'd reccommend the latter, because its chimmys 300th game birthday and its Orlovs 1st game birthday and WHEN WE FUCKING WIN THIS GAME its my 200th win birthday. Basically after we hit rock bottom, we lit the bob fosse fuel and have skyrocketed our game higher than Lenny Bruce Boudreau. (yeah, brucey knows bob fosse's filmography)

The desert dogs come to town today, its always one of my favorite games when they come to town, I make sure to eat my duck lo mein early so I can lap up the sweetness of the dessert dogs, because regular cake is now boring to me, IT HAS TO RESEMBLE MEAT FOR ME TO EAT! I hear thats shone dunns personal motto, or at least thats what Gordo tells me. I think I'll sit semin tonight, as a goof. I told that guy I needed 9 goals form him on the road trip. guess how many he scored? Well, you watched, you saw.

Listen, I think we're gonna see some magic tonight. I wont lie, its an important game tonight, and the reffs from the Oilers game are so close to rotting through, look for some deus ex machina dropping ref bodies.

P.S. fuck you 11:11 on 11-11-11, youre a useless choad.

HEWLDP! Nov 19, 2011

hello swir an mamadams, dis here king dj back for boocey. i ran awy from hershy park, they had to much choklates and it scared me cuz choclate vampire hurts so i foudn a horse and come to cananada! i am from here! but then i see broocey and he is being scary and doing yell loud! he makes me cry and i fall off horse and mike knubls says GET HIM and i run but they smitty and obie throw a net on me and i scream NO OVIE NO OVIE WE FRIENDS! but he cry too and say he helping me. then i wake up where am i!? i see brooceys computda and i say help help! help me oviewan kanobi! i hear they in room next door they making spooky noises and say MIKE GREEN ocer and ocer? i think i jump throw windows! we in cadanaa! But i dont like this cananda. this cananada is not mine. it tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

mama always say big cherry monstar live here. I CUT HIM WITH MY LIGHT SABER! HEEEYAHHHHHH wwwwwwhhhrrrrr rrrhrhuurrrrrwwwww whhhoossssssshh whoooshshhh wwrrroooooroowwww kah kah kah liah lah lah kah bwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrooooohh whhhheeerrshshhhhhhwhwwwwrrr shuuuuwwwww whuuuuuh keeeeeee kooooo keeee koooo huuuuuuusshhhhhhh whhururrrrrrr NOOO NOO KHA LAH KAH KAH KAH popopopopopopopoooo awwwhhhhrrrrrrrr rwhhhhhrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh whusshh hshhhhhh whhhurrrrr rrr NOO NOO YESSSSSSSSSSSSS JOIN ME aihahwhhwhhhyyyshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whhrurhhhhh SHUT UP JARJARawwwhhrurrr run urnrunruhrhrhhhhghghhghw whwhhhhsssssshhh whherrr errrrrrrrrrrr whhennnnenrrrrrrrrrrrr

IM COMING FOR YOU HARPER: Nov 18, '11

I dont want to talk about it. Okay?

I'v'e never been to Winnipeg, they told me it was a real city, but then I looked at a picture. I laughed so hard that Crudsby suffered another concussion, but the jokes on Brucie, going to a backwoods bumfuck place means no bidet. And I sure as shit cant reach back there anymore, with my diet it only takes an hour to become crustier than Mike Green's usual saturday night meal.

Hey Jets! Your logo SUCKS! ha, who designed it? Lennon Hendricks? (Shes a baby, see, thats the joke) You can change your stripes all you want, but you still look like you've been through a wheat thrasher to me. I guess you have Eric Fehr...'s wife to cheer you on. (Come on back baby, you know brucey misses you. Dagmr means nothing to me!) Because E is out. Get your goals somewhere else.  Kane is really your only chance now I suppose because I know Byfugly has been spending all his time with living the jet lifestyle with CurrenC$y. Here is why that is funny...Thats the canadian dollar for all my Washington readers, it is like this: C$. I am explaining you the joke because as American citizens you shouldn't have to know about how a lesser country marks the cost of things. If you are a canadian reader, why? And finally, if you are my homies from South Africa who checks out this blog, please keep laughing using 'rsrsrsrs'.

What? oh. right. didnt I say I didnt want to talk about it? Lets just get this one.

I realize we like to make jokes here at BrugBlug, but I feel 'tis important to use my position of influence to take up two serious points. Guys, first of all I think we should have an intervention for Greeny, that dude gets into more STDs than I knew existed. He's living the Ovi lifestyle without the russian blood. (As all women born in russia have to do 5 years of prostitute service while the men have military service they get chock a block full of mites and bites and bumps the men have over time developed immunities to hundreds of known and unknown STDs.) A knee to knee bump? No, its his stump, its covered in red welts so large we have to hide them by dressing them as Slapshots. Have it prepped to roll as soon as we get back, Ill tell the rest of the boys on the flight home when we're fucked up as fuck celebrating with that canadian pot, eh? eh? EH!

...Eh? Customs? Roayl Canadian Air Force? Frr'eal girl?

I guess I should mention serious thing #2 then;
ARM THE DJ KING PARTY DIRIGIBLE! SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET INTERNATIONAL! DOGFIGHT STYLE!