Today is the story of the Washington Panthers vs the Florida Capitals, or as I like to call them the Tallahassee's. well, kind of...I mean, since last season theres been some change, we got arguably 2 of their best players, Robot Leg and Koonjob, and in turn they nicked the late great, matt 'semin-snitches-get-stiches' bradley, and jose theo. Arguably our ugliest players. It should be a more exciting game then the past would have you believe, Florida is looking hotter than preggers Beyonce these days, and we're playing dumpier than the guy on the back of the truck (OH SLAM! BITCH, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!) They've made Tampa Bay look foolish twice already and they're second in the devision. It's [pretty exciting for them as they haven't been second in anything since the worst sweaters poll. (Brucies on a roll, look the fuck out.)They have a new coach who thinks he's a hot shot because he can outsmart scarface, however I intend to blind the little bitch with a little bit of my coaching magic. Divisional games are the best for blinding people, most bang for your buck, especially considering the price of sulfuric acid these days.
I call sulfuric acid coaching magic.
Anyway, Florida should be a fun test. Like a pap smear. I once bought a pap smear from madonna this one time I was in Austin from this girl I thought was a dude. I know theres always talk about ditching Brucie, but if we win tonight it will be the first time the Caps have ever gone 5-0. And if that doesn't mean the cup is ours I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL!
Bruce toots!
P.S. I've got a pretty good surprise for everyone coming to games from here on out that will debut today. I've replaced the organ with a calliope. Its gonna be a mother fucking 3 zone circus in Verizon. Ton't tell GM GM, I promised him I wouldn't but once he hears it I KNOW hes gonna eat it up.
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