GET YO' STINK-WHISTLE! BRUCEY B IN THE HOUSE: octomom/7/2011

Welcome to the new season. The 2011-2012 season, of your Washington Capitals. Or perhaps you should be welcoming me, I know that after another presidents trophy and Lord Stanley Cup win I'll be welcomed anywhere I damn please in all of the disrick. (You hear that DeMarquis? My day with the cup will start at your Rub & Tug whether you like it or not. THE WORLD WILL BE WATCHING) Boom de yada.

We've got some new faces, and some old ones, or as I've been calling them, the "classics." It has led to some confusion, Ovi thought I was talking about Coke so hes been calling Brouwer 'New coke' and Joel Ward 'Pepsi face'. Semin, whos trying to be more talkative this season just screams Jamba Juice over and over. At least he's trying.

We had a rocky pre-season so here is an intricate and well thought out response: (note to editor, put that picture of my dick i texted you last week here) HAHA! Thats for my boys in Iraq. Now that dont ask dont tell is over I've been getting deluges of e-mails from soldiers asking to see my big swingy thingy. I got that certain jenny say quah (editor: make me look smart) soldiers love. I guess I am the most important man in D.C. Enjoy Boys!

But it did give some interesting things for fans to look out for (Other than Dagmar Vokoun's sweet sweet tats) Like that flowtastic Mattie P, dudes back with a passion. He reminds me of a young me, I know what its like to be awesome as shit and under-appreciated, and have sweet flow. I even did an interview on it. WHAT NOW, SOURCING MYSELF. Here are some other things pre-season taught us: I found a new favorite restaurant! Theyve got the best vanilla-ice-cream-instead-of-sour-cream-mint-ice-cream-instead-of-guacamole-cough-syrup-instead-of-lettuce-sticks-of-better-instead-of-chips-nachos I have ever had! Sorry SantoCarlos, you've been upstaged, (I think they use a cinnamon extract to give it that something special you just dont have, try to experiment, Ill give you another chance),

But I know what you want, I know what this is all about, Tomorrow night. Opening night! You all can't wait to see if the triplets got hot this year. What will the new commercial be? A 3 way hottub makeout in  bikinis? Jello wrestling while Michael watches awkwardly and talks about paper? Now that would sell. ...mmmmmmm ameritel triplets. My favorite is the one with the snaggletooth. Get that thing caught in a stink whistle.

what happened? I just woke up and its dark outside now...I started this thing at 11a.m. I remember thinking about the tripplets and then I smelled burning....

FUHHHFHHHFHH. I just lost another half hour. Id better go get some rest. Big day tomorrow.









its a vagina. a stink whistle is a vagina. its also the term most searched on google that leads people to this blog. but i totally copywrote it, so expect me to use it until it catches on with the kardashians and then sue the shit out of them for it!

BRUCEY B. B. BEVERTON BEVELY "Cleary" BOUDOIR BOUND BOUDREAU OUT.