Greetings from Toronto, my Somali trip got cut short when the Piratles all got killed by the Canadian Boat Mounted Horse Mounted Mounties, but today I've got payback against the entire country with a disgraceful loss on Hockey Night in Canada. (not the actual broadcast, I've poisoned Don Cherry for being a dumber motherfucker than pierre, so they're on hiatus until they find the antidote (Hint: its worse than the poison)) The Maple Leafs are no joke, they've been playing hot in the last 10, and every game is a must win to hit post season. Tonight, we'll shatter their dreams and clench the southeast division. DOUBLE VICTORY FOR AMERICA! In other news widemans robot leg came in from japan (although its glowing and melts any doctor who touches it) and we're waiting for the jet fuel nozzle to come in before its installed, I expect him back for the florida game. Tonight I'll be putting Hendricks in the lineup, he had to sit time-out, (but like I told him, he hasnt done nothing worng, hes my boy, I just had to make it look fair) so expect him to feel extra scrappy tonight. I expect double knuble to keep up his hot streak and jimmy or not to hit at least 401 on the goal count. AND OBI DOBIE TO HIT 300. What say you boys, how bout we rent a leaf blower from home depot, pile up our competition, set them on fire and enjoy the beautiful smell of our labors. GODDAMIT. GO GET ME A PB&NUTELLA.PS. the antidote is horse shit.
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