Saturday, April 16, 2011

Pierre Saga Pt. II--Mcguire prepares to die: Apr 16, 2011

Here is the letter I received, as noted in the last blog post:


Dear Bryce Boudreau coach of the Washington crapitals (haha yes)

This is Pierre “joncryerfan20” mcguire. Enzo and doc airdropped me some crayons and graphing paper down to me inside the glass so I could vent. I owe my life to those boys, doc and enzo. Saved me from my life as a pittsburgh penguins assistant coach, jerking off jagr in the visitors locker room after games for corn dogs, right doc?

I DIGRESS.

Heres the deal: ovie’s a bitch, semins shit, neuvy lets in goals like I let enzos in, one fist at a time. Arnott can go fuck himself for turning down my application to be his little brother, and chimera….chimeras no bald brother…he just shaves to get that turbo boost and we all know it, right enzo?

Look brucie, you guys are too flashy to beat the blue collar blueshirts. I don't buy into your new defense first mentality, youre all too fucking drunk off coconut flavored rum to do anything but piss yourselves and pass out in the offensive zone, aren’t I right here doc? Watch some footage of the whalers back when I was behind the bench and maybe you’ll learn something about the beautiful game eh enzo?

Don't try and get me back for this on your journal. Doc reads me to sleep every night through our headphones. He reads me every post that you throw up there. Makes me a perfect mix of nauseous and horny. Doc’s got that combo of rasp and sultry vox that gives me a boner down there, right doc? I’ll piss on your internet and no one will be able to read what you wrote through the bloody drippings. I don't really know how the internet works actually, am I right enzo?

Fuck off,
Sincerely,

pierre

 (if you wouldn't mind transcribing this letter that would be great. I woulda wrote this to your blog comments section but I don't have a computer in here anymore, got too many complaints about players being distracted by my tentacle porn. I’ve got a bucket, my cat and old chicken giblets to my name. stinks down here eh enzo?) 
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He just signed his death certificate. Ill keep you updated. 

BRUCE

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