B.B.B.B.B.B.B.B.: Nov 1, 2011

HELLO BIG BOOTY BLOG READERS

We’re back from the best coast road trip. The plane smells like taco bell and broken dreams. We ran into the Bulin Wall and the Young Guns in Refmonton (GET IT BETTMAN??? TEACH EM HOW TO SWALLOW WHISTLES. ha.) and we took it in every hole from the demon twins in Vancougar. I KNOW I KNOW. I know what youre thinking. “BROOCIE YOU RACKED UP THE BEST WINNIN PERCENTAGE IN FRANCHISE HISTORY WHAT ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT??” We lost to a bunch of Canadians. Its fucking embarrassing. Theres one thing that can turn this shit luck around.

America and...MOVEMBER. A celebration of hair, facial and everywhere. facial. ha.

While its been MOJO-EMBER for a while now, the rest of us finally get to start growing some stache. The Ducks wont know what hit them. Hammer’s been teachin the young boys all the dangers of facial hair. That man is always in a constant battle against his facial hair. Semin snuck into George Parros’s crib like a KGB and snatched his stache. There are lil pieces of Parros still on that thing. Semin says he’s gonna wear it for All Saints Day. I don't know much about this Christian thing but that seems pretty badass. And if believing in it helps us get some peace from these fucking refs then i’ll wear a rotting moustache too.

Ducks are comin off of two losses just like our squad and we’ve got the Panthers clawing at our buttholes so theres gonna be a real scrap tonight on home ice. Last time they came down to Chinatown, Getslapped knocked us out in overtime. Not gonna happen tonight. Koonies gonna get his DuckHunt on and shoot some pucks outta the air. Big Jon Earskine is back so byebye Tom Phillip Collins and hello to a steady (butmikegreenless) blueline. We can use the roster space too, cuz Georgie just gave me a new toy to play with. WELCOME CODY “50 CENT” EAKIN. Boy brought me a lifesized bigbooty woman made of chocolate. mmmdarkchocolatewoman.

PEACEOUT.

BRUCEY

ps DJ stop calling. You wanted to leave. I know it sucks no one wanted ya but its gonna all work out in the end pal. Theres Russia? Or Belarus? Or Czech Pubic??

I don't know. Sorry buddy.